This performance explores my role as the eldest sibling of four, and the personal struggles of trying to be both guardian and friend. Christina, Nicholas, Ashley and I are all within five years of age, and our mother raised us by herself. From a young age, I often had to take on responsibilities that created tension between the split roles I felt drawn to embody. In this performance, I explore this jilt through apologizing to them for not being a ‘good enough’ big brother, while placing flotation devices onto puppet likenesses of my siblings inside a flooding playhouse. In fact, I do this to explore and work through the leftovers of my own unrealistic expectations of what my role should have been, which by the end of 2013 was no longer needed in the same way as when we were children. Through performing my own personal history to an audience, I hope to encourage the difficult dialogue needed to foster healthier relationships.